Old World charm at an affordable price

Lovely older home, spacious and well-kept, new carpeting and a great view of the river. Daughters are not allowed, though pets are fine. Especially cats. Must be willing to share all scratching posts. Call (707)555-5945. Ask the GEMlabs receptionist for Ian, ext. 667. Give social security number and driver's license number when asked. If tranferred to security, talk to Jodie, she knows the details and can patch you through to me without much hassle. When you get the voicemail, as I screen all calls, mention this ad and give the security code 8856. Your voice will be recorded as will the message. If the system glitches and asks for a retinal scan, press the pound key. All voice recordings are filed and labelled. All calls are traced. Some dingbat said I had to tell you all that or it's inadmissible as evidence. But don't worry about all the legal details, rent is reasonable and the view really is great.

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