Reflections

~Ei-QUE~
~*~ Quietly, she is hunched over a small mechanical device. Working tediously long hours. Small sparks fizz, as she sits cross-legged on her bed. Anything to keep her mind of the events from the past, and the events to come. Her facade not in place.. but her features like a smooth even tenor. A peace.. a resolution. Her mind working like mechanics.. thinking out a few quantum physic problems.. in the meantime.. as the sauder cooled. Blinking, her eyes turned upward as she heard Yvette enter the farmhouse. She quietly pushed aside the device she deemed the 86-9 fluctuating transmitter device.. though a brief explanation of it would have took her hours. She wandered past Venin to the kitchen.. getting a toaster, and the cordless phone. Pausing watching Yvette, a small, near unnoticeable smile pressing on her lips. wrapping the chord in her hand, freely. Tilting her head.. she started back to her room. The heating coils from the toaster. some chips from the phone.. it should be done. Sitting again on her bed.. pausing only to glance out the window. Placing the toaster and the phone beside her. Her fingers splayed over the bedspread… temporarily lost in thought. ~*~

~VENIN~
*watches curiously as Jesse silently retrieves the toaster and phone. The slight smile does not escape her notice. She smiles after your retreating back, forever grateful for whatever/ or whoever brought about this recovery...even if it was Aerik...Finally, curiosity overriding all else she pushes herself up from the chair and makes her way up to your room.. noticing the door ajar, she knocks lightly anyhow* Jesse?

~*~ She looks up from her thinking and nods Motioning for the woman to enter. Immediately, looking at the toaster, and the tools sprawled out on her bed spread. Ritually, very sequentially she takes out each screw, and lays them in a tiny neat row. Removing.. a few coils with tweezers, and replacing them back in their case when she was done. She seemed tired.. fatigued. Quietly she spoke ~*~ Hello Yvette.. ~*~ Her eyes darting to certain places in her device. Simply laying the coils out beside it.. then cradling the toaster, now in three pieces, and placing it on the floor. Looking up at Venin in the midst of this.. then looking back to the phone. Taking it into her hands.. holding it very carefully. Taking first the battery, then the antenna. Carefully then forcefully pulling apart the casing. ~*~ .. How have you been ~*~ Her voice seemed a bit empty. Out of loss, not out of hiding. Not out of sealing her emotions away. Like they were there FINALLY behind every word she spoke.. so mild. Only a trained ear could pick up on them .. only a caring ear. She heard them.. and tried to hide them occasionally.. but to no avail. She had no where in her mind to stash them. Her face was warmer.. like the ice had melted. Like she was.. as Aerik put it.. whole ~*~

*her gaze flickers over the parts strewn about the room, then back to your new acquisitions. *she picks up the new tones in your voice...if only Alan could... she stops the thought, not wanting to dredge up memories, not in either of them. She had lost one she considered almost a brother, but, Jesse had lost more…yet perhaps she also gained. *Hello Jesse *she smiles with amusement as she looks around the parts strewn room* and I thought Geoff and Zak were bad...What ya doing? *eyeing the parts curiously*

~*~ She quietly muttered ~* I am creating a 86-9 fluctuating transmitter device. ~*~ Shrugging and sighing.. adding ~*~ Though it is already sorely outdated. I began to see improvements before I started building it. But with my limited supplies ~*~ She droned on, pausing.. wiping a bit of sweat that gathered on her brow. Her eyes looking up at the woman. The sorrow evident. She turned back to her work, taking a few circuit boards from the phone.. and a small cylinder looking thing. Examining it closely, she sighed.. placing it gingerly into the device. the parts were not strewn about the room, but even laid in an orderly fashion. Sort of. Organized by usefulness, and importance. She would see part of Jesse's TV.. and the upstairs VCR. A part of Gild's CD discman.. and a few other random household appliances. Quietly turning the screwdriver, a few times. Her hands sliding over the rotating mass. Her lavender locks blocking her vision occasionally. Finally she looked up, and said. Mostly out of nowhere. ~*~ .. You realize what Aerik is asking of the telepaths do you not? ~*~ Sighing.. her lips pressed into a thin line.. worry evident on her brow. Her hands now replacing the screwdriver on the bed. And then returning to fold in her lap. She had never been this talkative. Afraid of speech actually. a facet.. of trust. She feared trust most of all. But now.. as all humans.. she needed it. A safe-blanket.. a haven. She felt trust now like fingers that wrapped around her.. like a mother. Comforting. She blinked.. and looked back to the thing on her bed. ~*~

*she sees the sorrow in your face and is ashamed…she wants to reach out and hug you, tell you how grateful she is that you can feel and express the pain, but she can't...it would probably come out sounding cold and callous, its intent twisted beyond recognition...besides, she is unsure of your reaction. She doesn't want to send you back.. So instead she smiles, allowing her own grief and sympathy to show through. Her gaze travels over the components, noting many missing appliances...there’s my TV remote, *chuckles* and I thought it was Geoff or Zak.... her gaze whips back to you as you ask the question, slowly she nods her gaze staring absently at the floor.* Unfortunately, I do.

~*~ She looked at Yvette, blankly.. then back at the remote.. that wound up over at the end of her bed, near the pole. She reached down and grabbed it.. it was still intact. ~*~ It was actually Geoff.. he brought it in here by accident.. distracted by what I was building.. he left it here. ~*~ Handing it back to her. a bit uncomfortable.. letting it sink in. A slow, low descending cloud of fate. ~*~ I.. I do not know If I can do that.. I value my life. I never have before.. ~*~ Looking at her free hand, then sighing. Her eyes now finding themselves closed ~*~ I know I will.. and not because Aerik asked me.. because it is right. But.. ~*~ Thoughts had pulsed though her mind.. what was there to live for? A love that could never be.. a love that was beyond a grave? A petty existence hiding for all eternity. She almost was grateful when Aerik first mentioned it.. but now. She sighed. Blinking away what reservations she felt. Resuming her work.. at a much slower pace. She felt the tension between them. Something she could not pick up before.. she knew it had to do with -him- . She knew it was an unresolved conflict, in both their troubled minds. It was an uneasiness. A cold front. She said quietly, as unemotionally as she could. ~*~ I was wrong earlier, When I said I did not care that.. he was gone.. Yvette.. I miss him terribly. ~*~ Her heart ached. She had no clue why she was being so open.. up-front with Venin now. But she was. Tossing her head back, and her hair aside.. looking solely at the 86-9 fluctuating transmitter. Focus…focus so you will not cry.. you will not cry little girl. She blinked, and pressed he tears back, even mentally shut off her tear ducts.. feeling them near to the point of overflowing. ~*~ SO terribly much...

*wordlessly accepts the remote, absently pocketing it. her own thoughts matching yours* Its not something that can be thought about, I've tried…it just doesn't work.. I know that before I would have done it, but now...now I have a 'family', you, Zak, Geoff…All give me reason to live.. but if...when.. *the sentence is left hanging, thoughts she did not want to finish for fear that doing so might make them reality.. She looks up at you, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. Her voice soft, soothing* I know hun, I always did… *careful to avoid components she leans forward, her arms loosely embracing, to allow your escape, she hugs you* we both do

~*~ Not so much trying to tug away.. out of the uneasiness physical contact made her. But from the emotions that hung between them like a thick and foreboding curtain. She felt the arms.. wrapped around her so tight. She blinked in disbelief. She thought she'd never see Yvette cry.. she was so strong.. she was.. so naturally strong. She felt her face tense.. muscles tense there. Her eyes welled more until she fell , willing into the woman's arms.. burying her face deep into the woman's chest.. freely sobbing. Hyperventilating.. and sobbing. Quiet small trembles.. a few small quakes. She cried fully. AS she had never before done to her recollection. Grasping at the woman’s arms.. some people saying a house.. and people made a home.. no.. it was this. This rare act.. that could be cherished that created a home. She wept freely, Geoff peeked his head in .. to see what the noise was about.. almost shouting THERE'S My discman.. but pausing.. seeing the scene.. he quietly left. Her breath was short and ragged. Pressing further.. small bits of her mask falling out of place.. her whole icy facade.. now a melted and gushing river. ~*~.. I .. I am so.. sorry.. I.. Do not know. *~ Between gasps ~*~ Why.. I am .. sobbing so.. ~*~ A sharp inhale, followed by more tears.. and a confusing myriad of emotions. ~*~ It.. is not logical.. or practical.. for me .. ~*~ she just shut up.. near enjoying comfort.. and still feeling.. so empty. Not an emotionless empty.. but an overflowing empty. A part of her.. that was no longer there. She reached out her mental fingers.. to find that small part.. that large part.. any part to show he was still there.. and it came back null. Dead.. Cold. And nothing responded her efforts. ~*~

*she feels you tense against her, ready to pull away, then you suddenly collapse against her. She holds you, comforting. a hand occasionally caressing your hair, or rubbing your back, soothing murmurs rolling off her tongue. The entire time letting you cry yourself out. knowing that you need this. For a while her own tears stream down her face, not so much from grief or pain, but from joy and sympathy. Joy that you have finally found yourself, that emotions were no longer buried within. Sympathy with how you felt, your grief, the pain and sorrow collected for all those years. She only briefly notes Geoff arrival, grateful for his hasty departure.* Its okay. Let it all out. you need it....it IS logical and practical.

~*~ She quietly after a long long time.. slowed. Pulling away from the woman. Brushing tears aside. She sniffled a few times. Shaking her head.. her cheeks very moist.. and her eyes red. Her lips pressed to a thin line. then to a trembling soft pout. Folding her arms around her belly.. rocking slowly.. slightly. Her eyes wandered over the scattered things on her bed. They were red, puffy. Her hands encircling her.. the overlarge sweater she was wearing.. falling to touch her fingertips. She shut the world out of her.. closing her eyes. She hated this.. it scared her.. no control.. she needed control. But.. somehow a sense of relief washed over her tiny body. She swallowed again.. and looked up. Her teeth clenched.. as it slowly faded away.. and left her.. oddly refreshed. and somehow tired. She blinked confused about this entirely. Her hands moist too with tears.. drying them on her sweater. She soon moved quietly.. away from Venin.. apologizing profusely ~*~

*smiles fondly at you as you move away* Its okay, its your mind trying to finish the healing process. *S* you needed it as much as I did, your my family. Families share their hurts, and help eachother heal…only I couldn't help you, until now. I am forever indebted to whomever brought you back, *her warm gaze fastens on yours* Tell them I thank them, thank them for helping my sister.

~*~ Quietly ~*~ Do you remember the woman.. who came here.. the other eve? To bring us to Aerik.. and to the lair? ~*~ She stopped there.. knowing Yvette knew the rest.. she paused for a long moment.. a very painful one.. and she said. ~*~ I am trying.. desperately to .. confront .. these.. emotions. They scare me.. ~*~ She heard the word sister and for another long long time.. it did not register.. She blinked.. eyes locked with Yvette's. Then she looked away. Feeling very unworthy of being .. being considered that close ~*~ .. Thank you... ~*~ She took her tired, and trembling fingers.. and fiddled a bit with her sweater.. the looking over at Yvette. Muttering… a stupefied ~*~ Thank you .. for everything..

*smiles* I have much to thank her for *chuckles* maybe I should apologize for calling her his pet dog too *she watches you, understanding and patience in her eyes* it will take a while, but I'm here if...when you need me *she stands, picking up bits of equipment that had fallen to the floor...softly* you're welcome. *she carefully puts the components down on a dresser behind her* maybe you should get some sleep. *she picks some items off the bed, careful to keep them in some semblance of their current order as she places them on a partially clear table. She looks back up at you, her own eyes moist, her smile beaming....she had finally found a family* Goodnight Jesse *she turns to leave the room, quietly closing the door behind her*