Heartbreak

~Shifter~
*After her trip out with Warpole she felt a little more confident.. He seemed to understand her fears.. He didn't tease her about them or push her too hard.. He did as he had always done.. Provided her with his solid strength.. Now if she could just get past her shyness around others.. She was fine with Yohann and Nat.. Others though.. Sighing she steps into the gym.. Not paying any attention to what was around her..*

~Mettalic~
Whap, whap, whap, whap, whap *one fist after another connects repeatedly with the punching bag, rocking it backwards...since his last `workout` with Attrait he had been in the gym often, he figured he sort of had to, after all, he definitely did not `measure up`...and maybe if he actually showed a little interest in GUARD for a bit then Pole and Attrait might lay off of him and he can once more return to what he does best....minding his own business* Whap....Whack....Whap Whap..Whack *the bag rocks a few more times as he alternates kicks with the punches, sweat glistening on his tanned body as he he concentrates on connecitng with the bag...having this sudden interest on him was really making him squirm, and he`s not even quite sure when it started...well actually he might ...it was either back at the French base, when Venin escaped..or when they moved back here...both times he could find something that might attribute to their sudden interest*

Even lost in her thoughts she couldn't miss the sound of him hitting the punching bag.. Realizing who else is in the room she looks around.. For once desperately hoping anyone was around.. Even as she looks around her eyes keep getting drawn back to him.. He looked so good.. His muscles rippling under his skin as he moved.. Groaning she turned to leave.. She couldn't stay here with him.. Not anymore... Something had happened when she had talked and kissed Nat.. It had awakened something in her..

*He had faintly heard someone enter the room, but really hadn`t paid attention...it was actually a quiet night in here...sorta boring actually...he liked to carry on a conversation when he was working out...made things seem less like work....he`s turning to see who the new occupant was just as he hears the groan..seeing who it is he smiles* Hey whats wrong? *His voice holds a hint of teasing* hoping to find Yohann?

*She turns around as he calls out.. Blushing big time as she looks at him.. She doesn't remember ever feeling like this before.. She had never blushed before.. Nor did she think about the fact he would think she was blushing about Yohann.. He was the farthest thing from her mind right now..* Um.. No.. Yohann is studying...

*He chuckles slightly as he sees her blush...pretty sure he's hit it on the mark...and figuring that the studying line was an attempt at a cover-up* too bad....planning on sticking around a while? *his smile is warm as he gestures randomly around the room* Its a little quiet in here for my taste, I wouldn't mind a little company if you wanted to work out too *he shrugs lightly* I could spot ya on the weight or something

*He was far from the truth.. Yohann was her friend period.. Seeing his smile her blush deepens even more.. She tries to talk to him.. Honest she does.. Her tongue though doesn't want to work..* I.. Um.. Weights yeah.. *This was bad.. He would think her some silly kid.. She takes a deep breath trying to calm her beating heart.. What was going on? She had talked to him before and it wasn't like this.. Why was she so.. She didn't know what..*

*he chuckles at her stumbling words...still assuming its because of the Yohann thing* You ever work with them before? *he looks her over appraising what she might be able to lift* so what have been up to lately,....I haven't seen much of you lately *he turns his back to her and reaches over to grab his towel* you want free weights or the machine

*She finds it easier to talk to his back.. Just barely though..* I've worked with weights.. My brother insisted on it.. He said I would have problems if I didn't get some exercise in my room.. *She isn't talking about her room now, but the lab that had been her home for years.. Being confined to a space maybe 60x60 feet didn't allow much for muscle development.. Which is why he had insisted on weights and a treadmill..*

bro...*he turns back towards her while running the towel through his hair* Oh right..I forgot, Warpole....*..maybe that was the reason everyone was taking so much interest in him...the fact that he was the one who got Toshi injured during the breakout in France* Thats good ..so what were you working with?

*She had no idea that he was being pushed right now.. If she did she might, might, realize it was because of what she had told Warpole.. With him looking at her again and toweling his hair.. She had never thought how interesting that could be before.. She doesn't look as she points over at one of the weight machines.. it was one of those all in one jobs..* That one.. Light weights.. *It had just been to keep her muscles from atrophying.. *

lights weights eh? he moves over to the machine and starts setting it up for her* so what have you been up to? I here there`s some good movies playing , you should grab Yohann and check `em out *he finishes setting up the weights and slowly stands, his arms reaching to the bar above him as he leans forward, stretching*

*She barely hears anything he said as she watches him move.. Totally transfixed by his muscles rippling.. She literally groans biting her lip as she quickly moves to sit down at the machine.. Once more blushing.. What was going on with her? She didn't understand the feelings she was having.. It was just.. He looked so good...*

*he doesn`t even notice her transfixtion or her silence, he just continues rambling on*I however would advise against coyote ugly *he shakes his head*Marcia and I went to that and it seriously bit..if your into the B-movies I hear the new godzillas pretty good...I wanna go see The Cell, I hear its excellent...*He pulls himself up to the bar and holds it for a few seconds before lowering himsef* what movies you into anyhow

*Marcia? Who is Marcia? Anger courses through her at the thought of another woman.. She slams the weights down.. She barely hears the rest of what he says about the movies..* I've only been to one movie.. Yohann took me to *rattles of the name of some movie that I can't remember that yohann took her too.. It had been a PG movie.. Since she had led a sheltered life he hadn't wanted to take her to something really violent..*

*he`s at the top of his lift when he hears the weights slam down and he instantly drops down ready to rush to her assistance* you okay? *concern touches his voice* that too much weight for you? *he simply blinks as she continues on as if unharmed and he stands there watching her* I heard that was pretty good, never actually saw it though

*No he probably wouldn't have seen it.. She had seen the reviews of the movies he mentioned.. They were R or PG-13.. They weren't for kids like her.. His concern only seems to reinforce the whole feeling that she is just a child.. That was the way everyone seemed to treat her.. Venin was the only one that hadn't.. Upset she moves to get off of the weight bench to push past him.. Tears in her eyes as she realizes he sees her as a kid and nothing more..*

Hey wait *an arm reaches out to stop her, his voice full of concern and confusion* whats wrong? *he catches the tears and tries to pull her in closer to him* come on now, the movie couldn`t have been that bad *he tries to put some humour in his tone* Whats bothering you?

*She lets him pull her in close to him.. Even though it hurts.. He is still treating her like a child and with her tears she is.. She has no idea how to explain things to him as her heart breaks.. Her tears only increase as she sobs quietly..*

*an arm wraps around her as he holds her to his chest letting her cry* did something happen with Yohann? *he absolutely confused, having no idea why she is suddenly crying...one minute they are talking, gettign along fine, at least to his mind...and the next she is crying.....it makes no sense...a hand lightly runs over her hair as he tries to comfort her...he doesn`t know why, but hes trying.....he really wished a woman would show up..he didn`t know what to do*

*That was it.. Growling she pushes back away from him..* I don't like Yohann.. I like you!! But your like everyone else.. I'm just Warpole's kid sister.. Stay away from her you might make Pole mad.. Besides she isn't anything but a little kid.. *She looks horrified at what she just screamed at him.. Backing up she turns to run as far as she can...*

*...now that stunned him, he hadn`t even thought of that possibility, for a brief second he stands there shocked...but he hadn`t been trained for nothing, he quickly recovers from the shock and moves to block her escape from him* Woah, easy Toshi..is that whats wrong? *his mind races in two different directions as he carefully approaches her...* Number one, I hadn`t exactally forgotten you were Poles kid sister, I just sorta shoved it to the back of my mind, like everyone else does....its a shock at first, but its a fact of life...*His tone is soothing as he stops, just a short distance from her....he doesn`t want her overly emotional because he doesn`t knw what the bracelets or Toshi herself can handle* Everyones first impression is based off what we`ve heard, noone knew you, but we all knew Pole...*he half chuckles* and we`re supposed to be afraid of him....however once someone /knows/ you, then the fact that yours Poles kid sister is a very minor factor....*he shrugs* yeah if I piss you off you could probably get me in a lot of s***....but I think all in all, Poles pretty fair, and you are...I don't think you`d use your relation with him to your advantage *well one part of the issue to deal with....he still has to think on the rest and see how she reacts to this...and the fact that she likes him, was something totally different he had to deal with*

*She slides to a stop in front of him.. Why didn't he let her go? Biting her lip she turns away from him.. She didn't want to see him laughing at her.. She can't help but listen to him.. Slowly she sees what he says does make sense.. She turns to look back at him.. The hurt she feels clear in her eyes..* I wouldn't run to Pole and tell him anything about others.. No one seems to take the time to know me though.. Only Yohann and Nat have.. *She really missed Nat.. Maybe the woman could help her understand her feelings.. It doesn't escape her though that he doesn't say anything about her feelings about him.. She takes that to mean he thinks it's just a kid talking..*

*he sees her calming down and carefully reaches out to turn her towards him* Just give people time....having a few really good friends beats having a lot of aquaintances, be grateful for what you have, I`m sure most people dont actively think you would run and tell Pole, but theres always that nagging subconcious that everyone has...the what if factor...and around here, a lot of us have learnt to never trust anyone, not totally * okay...*He sighs* as for point two, some people may treat you like a kid, hell some around here treat everyone like a kid...you ever talk to Bill the techie? I`m sure he talks to the highlord like hes a kid...its all perspective....and there`s also the factor that you haven`t been exposed to a lot...so people are taking it easy on you, they are trying to keep you from culture shock, and noones sure how you will react to new things...*he points to her bracelettes* theres also that factor, noone wants to see you end up thrown into a fit of shifts that you can`t control

*Nodding she doesn't pull away from him, but she doesn't look up at him either.. He was still avoiding the fact that she said she liked him.. It was clear he didn't feel that way.. She had expected that hadn't she? Still it hurt.. Finally she does look up at him.. Her eyes full of pain..* It's too late.. I've already seen the world out there.. I spent 3 months with a drug addict in Seattle.. I lived on the streets and watched her die... I'm not as fragile as everyone seems to think.. *She felt so defeated... It always seemed to come back to the bracelets and her inability to control her shifts.. Sighing she shrugs.* It doesn't matter anymore..

*he shakes his head..this wasn`t going how he wanted it* but not everyone knows that...and ...even if you were out there on the streets, you only saw some of it, not all of it..and you were thrust into it....people are just trying to make it easier....*he sighs and looks at her* It all mattters, don't let it not...otherwise you`ll become like Venin or several others around here, nothing more than machines..and I don't mean mechanical like Warpole...I mean in here *He taps her chest* they feel nothing, nothing matters....and thats wrong *He pauses, one hand running through his hair as he thinks* but...thats not quite what your talking about is it? *he shakes his head* all I can say is why? I`m flattered, but confused....you barely know me *he chuckles* I dont think I`m exactally ideal date material...I`m a little too attached to my bike as one girlfriend once said

*She doesn't know how to explain it to him.. She didn't know how to explain it to herself.. Despite everything he says she draws into herself.. Shrugging she turns away from him moving over to lean on the treadmill..* Just forget I said anything.. I wont bother you anymore... *Why did she bother leaving her room.. Warpole and everyone was wrong.. It was safer away from people... Perhaps she had spent too many years locked away from others.. She had no idea how to handle social situations.. There was nothing for her to draw on..*

*he hates it when things go bad like this...this wasn`t what he wanted* he follows her over to the treadmill....* I think you got things wrong.....*He runs a hand through his hair as he looks at her...honestly looks at her....she wasn`t bad, but she had the young look, she looked inocent, naive....and that had always chased him away, he wanted the wild ones...but how could he explain something like that....and that once he got them he didn`t want them, he never kept anyone around* Uhmm...look, dammnit, no you aren`t bothering me....I just....*He moves in closer to her....how the hell could he do this, how could he make it sound like she wasn`t a dog..she lacked the experience for her to have any reference....this was tougher than any test he had previously taken, or any battle he had fought....finally he gives in...the only thing he can think of ..he`ll worry about consequences later....he grabs the railing on one side of her and slowly leans forward, giving her time to slip out...a kiss being the only thing he can think of*

*She doesn't move away as she really doesn't understand what he is doing until it is too late.. Her eyes open wide as she suddenly feels his lips on hers.. Her hand reaches up to lay against his chest as she tentatively responds to it.. It isn't at all like the one Nat had given her.. It opens up so many new feelings inside her... She wanted more.. Moaning softly her other hand moves up around his neck.. If he didn't pull away she would deepen the kiss.. Hungry for the feelings he stirred up..*

*A part of him responds to her increased ardour....but a part of him also panics...he hadn't thought she would respond, or at least not like this....he feels the hands move behind his neck trying to draw him closer and for a few brief seconds he responds then slowly he pulls back, breaking the kiss...now what?...he didn't` know what to do, what to say....he didn't want to crush her, but he didn't really want to lead her on either...he was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place*

*He doesn't have to say anything.. Isolated as she was she had learned to read the body language of those around her.. It hurts.. It hurts more than she can say.. She can see it in his eyes.. He didn't feel like she did about him.. Why? Why did he kiss her then? Her hands drop back to her sides as she looks past him towards the door.. "Goodbye Mike.. I wont bother you anymore.. I can see what you can't say... Don't worry.. Pole wont hear about this.." Her words are so quiet, cold and lifeless.. Exactly how she felt at this moment.. *

*he winces at her words* Toshi.....*his other hand reaches forwards to grab the treadmill beside her, effectively pinning her between his arms..with most women he would have just left by now, but this was different....she was young, inexperienced, and he genuinely liked her, just not how she thought she liked him*Toshi...I dont care if Pole finds out *well he sort of did, but he was in enough s*** these days he didn`t think it would matter too much anyhow* okay well maybe I sort of do, but thats besides the point....*He sighs* you have to understand something....I`m a hunter..*he sighs and tries a different approach* have you seen Rika, filename Pirahana?..have you ever watched how she treats men...shes a predator, she uses them and disposes of them...I`m the same, sort of...I dont have women throwing themselves at me, but I do okay....*he bites his lip* I`ve never actually admitted this to anyone but...I use women, I get them and then I dispose of them, its considered cool for a guy...yet somehow its s***tish for women *he shrugs slightly* double standard I guess..but my point is *his head shakes* I dont know what my point is....I like you, I do...but I try not to get involved with anyone, noone at base and definately nothing serious...everythings too unstable...I could be dead tomorrow, or you could become my enemy....its too uncertain

*She had read the files so she knew about Rika.. It doesn't make it any easier for her to accept what he says..* Then why do you care how I feel? *He was confusing her.. If he used women why was he trying to keep away from her.. Was it because of Pole? He said he cared, but he kissed her then threw it away.. If what he said was true why would anyone even bother to reach out to another? Why did it matter? Everything he said only made her pull away even more..* Venin is right.. It's best not to care.. You can't be hurt that way...

*he almost growls in frustration..this was definately not how he planned his day, hell he wouldn`t have planned for this in a whole damn year* because I want you as a friend, if I hurt you, you wouldn`t be my friend anymore...and I would have lost something valuable to me...Venin? the b****?*he shakes his head* no, shes wrong, caring is what creates trust and friendship, she has none of that around here...without caring you can`t have trust, then you always have to watch your back, never let your guard down...thats not a way to live..its too hard on a person...besides, could you really live without Pole? could you live with yourself if you alienated him like that?*he licks his lips nervously* your good looking, your nice, your sweet....and you care, which is what makes you attractive

*His words finally sink in.. Not that it makes things any easier.. She looks up at him.. Everything she feels in her eyes.. The pain, desire, fear and uncertainty.. * How do I stop feeling like this? How do I not care about you? *His words were all well and good, but how could she be around him knowing he knew how she felt and didn't return those feelings... She wanted what his kiss had promised for just a moment.. That wasn't to be though.. He had told her that.. He only wanted to be her friend..*

*he smiles and reaches up to brush some of her hair back form her face* you don`t....you just enjoy it, enjoy the emotional rollercoaster you`re on right now...because this one you`ll remember...we all do *he leans forward and places a kiss lightly on her forehead* don`t stop caring, I don`t want you too, just like I won`t stop caring for you

*She smiles slightly up at him.. It still hurt.. Hurt so bad she wasn't sure how she would survive at the moment.* I don't know about enjoy it, but I will remember it.. *Her hand comes up once more to lay on his chest as he leans over to kiss her forehead.* Will you do one thing for me Mike?

I know....its hard, really hard..and there is no way to make it easier except time...*he looks down at her, her hand warm against his chest* Anything

Will you kiss me again? *He had said anything, but some how she didn't think he would kiss her.. Just for a moment she wanted to feel those feelings again.. To think for just a minute that he could care for her.. Quietly she waits to see what he will do.. Her fingers unconsciously caressing his chest where they rest*

kiss you? *he looks down at her...well he did say anything...and he had already done it once, perhaps it was a mistake but it was done...but also she was young, inexperienced....* slowly he leans forward, his lips lightly pressing to her forhead, then he draws back and once more his lips draw near, this time settling upon first one eyelid then the other...then he pulls back slightly, just barely off of her skin, pausing for what seems an eternity before they once more move downwards towards her lips touching in a featherlight kiss*

*At first she didn't think he was going to kiss her.. Then he leaned over to kiss her forehead.. Disappointed she was going to draw away, but he leaned down to kiss her eyes.. finally he kissed her.. It was only a soft kiss.. Not at all what she wanted.. She leans into him trying to deepen the kiss.*

*he can almost sense her disappointment and allows her to increase the pressure, deepening the kiss...letting her be the one to set the limits..for now.*

*When he doesn't pull away she slides her hand up his arm around his neck.. Stepping closer to him.. She forgot why she started the kiss.. Forgot that he had told her he didn't care about her as more than a friend.. All she knew was the pleasure she felt kissing him.*

*he holds the kiss for a while, then slowly he pulls back...his eyes trying to meet and hold hers* thank you

*She doesn't want the kiss to end, but as he pulls away she doesn't fight him.. His eyes hold her despite her desire to look away.. She doesn't want him to see the way she feels about him in her eyes.. Not now.. His words confuse her...* For what? *She whispers softly not sure what he was thanking her for.*

*he smiles* for letting me remember what it was once like... for reminding me *he once more kisses her forehead* and for letting me be your first heartbreak

*He only succeeds in confusing her more.. She responds automatically..* Your Welcome... *The day had been almost too much for her.. Sighing she leans against him.. What she really wanted was to get out.. Run as far as she could from him.. It would be a long time before the hurt would go away..*

*he chuckles lightly at the automatic response...it was too pat...he knew it for what it was, but left it...one day she`d understand...for now she was confused, at least now he wasn`t..or not as confused* I play downtown tonight...did you want to come along?its gonna be pretty crowded though *He throws the offer out, a peace offering?, a show of friendship?...but he also gives her an easy out* or I can bring you along next time its a smaller venue if you like, I`ve got a few smaller ones coming next week if you want

*His offer doesn't get the response he probably thought it would.. She pulls back from him in horror.. Pressing back against the rail of the treadmill as her hands push against him.* No!!! *She looks around the gym for some place to run.. Terror gripped her so strong at the thought of leaving the compound..* Please.. I can't.... I can't...

woah! *he blinks at the sudden change in her and gently reaches to grab her, enfolding her in his arms till her panic dies* its okay, take it easy...you dont need to go....*the words a soothing chant, carressing her ears* noones gonna force you to go take it easy

*She clings to him shaking.. It was one thing to know you were suppose to go out and another to actually do it.. Pole had managed to take her out, but that had been to a quiet beach.. Here there would be a lot of people.. He had said it would be crowded.. She wasn't sure what he meant from playing, but she had a feeling that it meant he wouldn't be able to be close to her.. All of that only added to her panic.. Slowly she calms down.. His gently touch and soothing words getting through to her.. She keeps her face buried against his chest so her words are muffled..* I'm sorry.. You probably think I'm silly... But.. *Could she tell him her secret? He hadn't laughed at her finding out she liked him, maybe.. Sighing she plunges on.* I can't go out... The whole idea of being out there terrifies me... *big understatement..*

*he smooths her hair as he waits for her to calm down.. he listens quietly to her then he sights and starts to chuckle* well thats a relief..here I thought it was my playing that had you terrified...*though in reality her fear has him concerned perhaps he did want to face Warpole and find out about it*

*That gets her to smile a little as she leans back to look at him.* No.. I would love to hear you play, but.. *sighing she shakes her head..* Another time.. I should let you go now.. Thank you for listening to me.. *It's her turn to thank him.. Hugging him she moves to pull away.. She had made a fool of herself enough today.. Time to retreat to her room..*