False Symptoms

~EI-QUE~
** A very long time had passed since Jesse moved to the Australian Base. Constructing their own Psi Net, mostly using some low level telepaths she was personally training. Having gathered her own team of Technicians she also recruited a single Techno-path from their list of UNNatruals in America. He was not only trained in the ways of identifying any foreign people she often tested him while he slept, ate, bathed, even during more intimate moments of his time to see if he was indeed paying attention. He passed on all accounts. The Aussie base was fully self sufficient. Sitting in a white coat, hair pulled back beneath a cap, with the more delicate computer components around her. While the Techno-path was sufficient at controlling these elements, it was much like a driver of a car. They may have full control, but they may not know why the car works, or how even the wheels are connected. She would have to train the Techno-Path these things soon enough. His make-shift machines, although impressive, were hardly efficient. She regarded the whole ordeal with a mild spout of jealousy. When he learned, she would no longer be needed in these areas. Not only that Null, Wile, and Omit together were nearly at her par. Dabbing the sweat from her brow as she sauntered more delicate things again. This used to be /enjoyable/ she mused absently. Her mind, still misted with a light fog she tried to recall the last time she did this. Zakai . . . the name and face seemed incredibly distant. She furrowed her brow a bit before sitting back in the brightly lit room. Sitting there, perfectly poised. For once her thoughts consuming her. She stopped the task that would have taken a normal person's sanity away, and focused on the fog. She had of course noticed it several times prior to this, but it never prevented her from wanting to know something she knew she experienced. She recalled doing these things before, but where, and when. She sat there drawing into her mind, and blinking out of it quickly. The light Psi-Field buzzing in her ears. She would have to go somewhere safer . . . these telepaths here were a joke, but because of their inadiquacies they all were highly monitored. With that she stood upright, she had over 3 months of leave she never took, so taking it now would seem a bit . . . queer to say the least. There was another way . . . Standing in silence, the hum of the lights, the buzz of the shield, even the murmur of minds that were in the area alerted her for a moment. Although she rationalized it was perfectly acceptable to want to know about ones own defects, and even history, she still felt because of circumstances leading up to this point, it would be best explored in private, or very well shielded. This still presented the problem of where to go. She weighed her options carefully, beneath a mesh of other problems she forced her mind to consider. No longer an emotionless drone, or logic would have made her steer clear of her first choice . . . Rikky. The other choices seemed even less likely to be of any avail. Then again would she need assistance? She had not contacted him in nearly the seven months she had been in this base . . . how would he respond if she were to ask him of such a thing.(( This will be rushed but I don't feel like writing out EVERY detail, this is so you just get the jist)) Moving through the quarantine field moving though the sensors dropping her psi-activity slowly and carefully on purpose. Large enough so the most sensitive of the telepaths and mind scanners would know something was amiss, but never enough to alarm anyone. She moved towards her quarters, removing her gloves and coat, exposing the GUARD garb beneath and clicked on the intercom to the Psi/Med room. Saying in a light voice, trying to seem as casual as she usually was. ** I believe that I am in some need of a rest. While configuring the 35-GQr system I experienced a lack of concentration at the G12 quadrant. This was the first sign of what I believe is categorized as 'burn-out'. The second and third signs of burn-out would consist of a drop in my Psi-fields, and irregular heart palpitations, and a lack of coherent thought. At worst, and the most severe cases it is known as the Travesty effect, and happens to higher power classed Unnatural more often than we care to admit. **She paused still catching her Psi-fluctuating. The person on the other end of the line, whom she knew was a new medic, and a low end Telepath who would not have a clue of the things she was speaking of. She was not as foolish to create a false syndrome, instead . . . was in a way "suddenly" falling ill. In Lay-man's terms, a very advanced way of playing hooky. The lower end telepath then blinked at a read-out and gasped. ** Ms. Raymond, well what do I do, then what do we do, . . . I'm like sooooo not trained for this. Oh m'gawd. ** Jesse actually for once hid a hint of a smile. Tilting her head lightly as she removed the hat and removing the mask saying. ** You are doing perfectly fine, and fortunate for us in this situation I know what to do. I simply will be forced to take a medical leave, away from the surroundings that caused such a syndrome. GUARD will most likely send Psi-Warp to take over the site while I am on leave. **The girl glanced up at monitor seeming scared for Jesse. ** Like o'm'gawd are you like gonna die? ** Jesse blinked and looked at the girl who was showing actual concern and she shook her head. ** I believe I will live Miranda, I will start packing now. Be sure that you have all the paper work ready for my departure. And arrange for GUARD to find my replacement. **With that she pressed the screen lightly, knowing the cameras were still watching, she did not smile. Instead, like clockwork, as she did in every other emergency, she did what she needed to do. Still showing signs and symptoms of the disastrous and impending burn out, and even perhaps throwing a few quirks of the Travesty effect in for good measure. ((Where one who has too much power burns out. The power, according to researchers can intensify driving the subject insane, or can burn out leaving them like a veggie. . . . I wonder who they named it after *wink wink* I think it's a good syndrome for being made up on the fly eh????)) Her printer on her desk spit out her leave report as expected. Estimated time of leave : To be announced. She liked that. Moving then to the teleporter, which she loathed and paused as she saw Psi-Warp in the hall. Startled he was there already, having been concentrating too far on the symptoms to scan for any other telepaths. She watched him and passed him in the hall slowly, the act was good enough to fool the untrained. She assumed it was good enough to food him for a few moments until she teleported. Which it was, he hardly paid her much heed except a polite "Get back soon" before she punched a few buttons carefully to teleport to the American base. She would have to be careful here with her 'syndrome' they were no where near as gullible. She moved from the port, while people looked her over again to make sure she was okay. She pushed them aside, searching for Rikky's mind, relieved that the Psi-Net here was at least enough to lower her own shielding more to play more into the part. Here she might even have heart palpitations if she could not find Rikky. . . how amusing. She of course would tell Rikky of what she was doing, she trusted him. . . that was always her mistake. **

~PSI_CLONE~
*The Psi-Net over the main GUARD complex has been strengthened in the time Jesse has been gone, as she most likely knew it would be. Rikky's signature glimmers here and there if one really sat down and bothered to untangle some of the astral strings, the Psibernary's signature, Psi-Warp's, many others. And, if someone knew what to look for and actually /looked/ for it, they might catch small glimpses of Aerik's signature, interwoven here and there, Rikky's almost-perfect psi-clone of his brother's powers. At this moment, however, Rikky isn't adding to the netting or studying files or training another telepath. No, he's in the weightroom going thru the regimine Venin placed him on. Apparantly, the fact that he's demon-strong didn't matter... to Yvette, his physique just wasn't up to par. That or she wanted to torture him. Probably both. So while he can't exactly strength-train... he'll be just as strong as before... his body has gone thru a few changes. Still willowy and elegant, his body is now panther-esque, muscles coiled under his pale flesh, visible to look at. His Eshva nature won't let him bulk too terribly much (after all, demons don't need it as mortals do, and most of his building is mentally inspired anyway, considering he's a shape shifter if he wishes to be. The muscles are psychosymatic, in other words), but he has to follow orders. And up on the big screen which overlooks the gym room, Mystery Science Theater 3000 is playing from a tape and featuring "I Accuse my Parents". Now and then, Rikky offers a small chuckle or an outright laugh; depends on what exercise he's working on. A subtle shift in the Psi-Net... the introduction of another telepath and the subsequent mental waves made by it... and Rikky snaps to attention, his eyes actually moving in the direction of the teleporter room, though he can see nothing. A second after the disturbance, he receives the summons. Jesse. Jesse? Jesse! Rikky tosses the 300 pound bar aside, literally, and sits bolt upright, smiling. The sudden childish excitement is quickly smoothed over with a more trained response. Rikky composes and gathers his energies, then lets them meander out to the Jesse, a soft, slinking response that could almost be seen as a lazy stream of colors coming towards her. *MS*() It has been a long time, Jesse. I am delighted to hear from you again. Currently, I am in the weightroom. Allow me to clean up, it should only be a few minutes, and I will meet you shortly. Where would you like to rendezvous?() *So nice to feel her mind again, even if Rikky's shields are still a great tighter than they should be considering the protection of the Net. Still, he learned /that/ lesson the hard way*

** Jesse sat searching with those invisible fingers through the net. Hardly aware of the buzzing and the humming of medical instruments that were swarming around her. Again dropping her power again slightly. It would matter much anyway if Rikky, or Psibernary attacked her. She would be dead even if she did have her shields at full. Psibernary, she forgot about that one. How . . . careless of her. She frowned just a bit before sealing those thoughts back and through the stream of information that she was getting fed, allowing it to be spliced, diced, crushed, and eaten by the Psi- Net. She retracted her fingers from the net highly impressed how well it was working. How pitiful the other lesser telepaths were not making anything more than an annoying mesh of information in Australia. She knew Psi-warp would FINALLY understand that there was /nothing/ to work with over there. That the reports, that were less than satisfactory, were indeed not the lack of her leadership in the area, instead the lack of raw talent. Inwardly smiling at that, before retracing her mental hands from the net. She would have studied its structure for another few hours except she felt what seemed like a swirl of mental colors and a warm familiar feeling. She could not HELP but smile. Pushing then aside the technicians that were running their feeble tests she could have manipulated anyway, and saying lightly. ** I believe there is someone here who can help me more than those instruments. ** With that she pulled back on her GUARD attire slowly her smile not fading a slightest bit. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder in a single graceful motion. She mentally embraced her much missed companion. Her only true friend as she saw it, in this faction. Feeling the thrill of excitement, then the resolute calm he pressed forth. Pausing again, unsure how to approach him with this. Jesse did not want to lie to him. She pondered this while he spoke to her mentally. Moving then towards the Weightroom, removing the final monitors to approach him. Saying very softly MS ~ Rikky, it is good to hear you again even for a moment. I am regretful to say this is not a leisure call, but instead business. I now regret too that I have not contacted you before now. I must ask if you have anything vitally important that you have coming up. I need your assistance with something vitally important, and I fear that regulations require that I take leave from a working environment. I am sure you will get clearance, as I am sure GUARD would not want one of their finer commodities rendered useless. ~ Thinking then in the same manner she thought of Psibernary, that what she said was not technically a lie. She would indeed be rendered useless if she was too consumed, as she knew she would be, with the fog. Moving then through the base, she had the blueprints memorized, and located the nearest place where she could pick up a weeks worth of civilian clothes. She removed her hair, now beyond her shoulders, from the bun it was in as she walked into the booth. Merely pointing to the items she desired and continued speaking with Rikky. MS ~ If you do not get clearance, then I am afraid I will be leaving again very shortly. If wish, I will request it personally for you. I will meet you at the transport either way. We will be traveling to *pause* does Tahoe sound nice? Quiet lake, serene mountains, it is ideal actually. ~ She gathered the items and placed them in her bag. Pointing to another outfit, dragging it to the fitting room and throwing it on. Her motions were hasty, yet still graceful. She threw her Guard attire into the bag as well. Her frame still incredibly thin, her skin no longer anemic looking, and her face was not skeletal instead pleasant. Pulling her brown hair then into a pony-tail and moving from the room again. Much like Rikky she had been training, although there had been no change to her frame. Instead she was now well versed in several forms of the martial arts. She had taken what she needed to know from those she had sparred against. It was much more efficient then them trying to teach her. She then trained her body to perform these moves, to the right touch of balance, and the perfect measure of power. She slid from the clothes stop and moved down the corridor. Pausing again as she reached the teleport room door. Entering there again, exactly 15 minutes after she had arrived. MS ~ Technically I can wait another 15 minutes Rikky. I would prefer, to leave as soon as we could. ~ Placing her bag down shifting her mind slowly, again, seeming a bit frazzled. Frazzled was a /good/ thing. **

*Most likely, Jesse is right... Psi-Warp would learn about the shortage of decent telepaths at the Aussie base and dutifully report it after being thoroughly frustrated by the intense /lack/ of competence. Be that as it may. Rikky, in the spa-like shower facilities of the gymnasium area, is listening intently to Jesse's mindspeech... it sounded dire. While he catches glimspes of the fact she is trying on and receiving new clothes, he frowns slightly, a lovely gesture of course, as he finishes up, dressing himself in his standard black GUARD uniform, that snug-fitting, high-necked top and black pants with black boots. The only color on the uniform is his Psi Department insignia... the embroidered GUARD emblem filled with purple. It used to be oulined in green, but Rikky has since lost his rookie status. MS() You are not giving me much time to put in for the request nor pack my things, Jesse.() A soft, gentle chide laced in amusement. *MS*()However, if it is for medical reasons, I can probably manage it.() He sends his request in via mental energy, alerting a doctor to the fact that Jesse was suffering from some mental difficulties -he, too, uses the term "Travesty Effect"- gets clearance as Jesse had already reported her condition and it was on file, albeit /just/ placed there, and finishes dressing. *MS*() Tahoe sounds lovely. I have not been there before. Are you alright? You are being extremely ambiguous, my friend.() The mental embraced had been returned, of course, and Rikky pads down the hallway towards his room. He pauses to place a sticky note on Rika's door -telling her he had been called out on an emergency- and enters his dark, primal room for a duffle bag and a few personal items, including toiletries and changes of clothes. MS*() I have gained the clearance though it was highly irregular; they'd have liked more notice, but they concede to the fact that a telepath suffering from the Travesty Effect needs immediate attention. Is that true, Jesse? Are you experiencing burn out?() *Honest concern in his sending which taints the light, warm feel of his pleasure at meeting her again after so long. *MS*()You stayed away for some time and now have me somewhat worried, I admit.() *still, her mental communications held clarity, though they felt frayed at the edges. Her focus was yet 100%. On his way out of the room, with its stars on the ceiling and the lush plant life bowing to him for a touch and the shadows whispering their love for him, his head tips to the side, brows furrowed, black eyes bright. Her mind was shifting now and again, this he noticed... her shields low. Her condition apparent rather than submerged. Something wasn't quite right here, but he doesn't make the connection - he doesn't figure out her elaborate hooky scheme. Instead, he becomes even more concerned... just how advanced was the TE syndrome? 15 minutes have slid by easily... it's about 5 minutes shy of her maximum alotted time when he appears in the transporter room, bag over his shoulder, smile on his lips. His eyes light up to almost gold when he sees his friend* Jesse. It is very good to see you again. *He keeps his long-legged stroll, marching straight up to her without hesitation and embracing her physically as well as mentally. His hair is long again, and while his appearance is exactly like Aerik's, something has changed... hard to define or pinpoint, but he seems less /there/ and more /elsewhere/. Ethreal, perhaps. Or maybe just less human than before. Rikky is starting to come into his own, a demon among mortals. He takes her bag, the one she had set down before the mind shift, and heads for the transport stage* We have no time to waste, I take it. We can exchange better greetings once we reach our destination. Tahoe, yes? *He nods to the techie who will initiate the proper sequence once the two are situated *Thankfully, it's twilight when they arrive in Tahoe... the sun has sunk behind the snow-topped mountains, and glorious shades of vermillion and gold streaked themselves over the darkening sky like paint covered fingers, but there was yet light enough to see by. Again, thankfully, the techie (by accident or design) has transported the couple into some shadows cast by the tall pines in the area. Rikky shields his eyes from the beauty of a dying sun and turns away from the scene, disgusted by the golds still clinging to the horizon. Instead, he glances further up and away toward the deep, deep indigo of the encroaching nightfall. Much better. Sunlight. How he hated that offensive yellow orb. How it hated him back. Stars start popping into the darker portion of the ebon vault overhead, and to these he smiles, and they smile back, winking their shiny cloaks at him. The beauty of this place is not in its view... not to Rikky, anyway... but in it's /life/. The lushness of the surrounding forest, the waters of the lake, the earth under his feet. When Jesse tries to pull his shields over her own, he remembers --she seemed to like doing that, allowing someone she trusted to cover her marvelous mind. She did it when she thought he was Aerik. She does so now. It probably had something to do with the fact that telepaths were flittering in and out of her thoughts, as well. Rikky doesn't resist the tug to his shields, but stretches his out to engulf her completely, seal her off from the prying incompetents, adding quick stinging 'slaps' to the minds of those trying to gain access. With this rebuke comes knowledge, too, that she is suffering from TE and they would aggravate the situation, as has been documented. Each mind he does this to, scolding them, and suggesting, quite persuasively, that they go and read the appropriate files to educate themselves further. He would mention this to the High Lord. Enshrouded by Rikky's shields, to which he has since added some improvements (they were something to behold, truth be told... things swirling before, inside and behind the layers which even Aerik could not duplicate) , he cuts them off entirely, save for technical monitoring. But their minds become sacrosanct... unbreechable. He follows her to the cabin, his duffle and hers on his shoulder, she carrying what he assumed was one with personal items, and nods as he does so* I would like that, Jesse... a walk. I do so enjoy being out under the night sky. *A small, petulant glance* And the sun should be mostly set, if not all the way down, very soon. *Simply /behind/ the mountains was not enough. He sets the baggage down on their respective twins beds. The room is spacious and well-maintained, with all the comforts anyone could ask for. Except... no TV. Rikky frowns. Damn. No MST, then. Ah, well. And if he were really desperate, he's certain he could always request one and it would be brought to him. The cabin, too, had a very rustic charm, expertly designed and furnished... an elegant log cabin, warm and comfortable. Perfect. Rikkys straightens, smiling at his companion, and moves towards her, offering his arm* Shall we walk?

** As Rikky slides her under his shielding she smiles softly. Her shielding then too strengthens slightly. The reasoning behind ducking under his shields was simple. He would be able to ravage and rape her mind at will, with her shielding. Even at full. So ducking under his mind she felt safer from any other minds that were stronger than hers, but not his that could also kill her. Either way Rikky would be able to gain access to her mind. This way though, it was much more difficult for others. She allowed her shielding to strengthen a slight bit more, still leaving the shields low. She pressed her mental hands against the inside it seemed of his shielding. Marveling for a moment, assessing the sheer beauty of them. She could have studied them for hours, days, years even and not have understood them all. Reminding herself as well, that it was quite possible his potential was not reached to full. That indeed he could become so much stronger than what he was at that very moment. A shiver of fear, and a twinge of curiosity swung into her mind as she then pondered how to begin telling him of her situation. She had not anticipated how to approach him, she certainly did not want to continue to lie. She felt their minds were unreachable, that indeed they were //alone//. She paused again, she decided then and there not to lie anymore, not to him anyway. She trusted him, she wanted his affection, and merely adored him. When she felt that there was no one else around for miles, aside the surveillance equipment she turned to him smiling almost fully. A sigh of relief passed through her lips as she uttered mentally, very quietly. ~~ Thank you. ~~ The words were sincere. Jesse moved after Rikky admiring the golden fingers of the sun dragging themselves from the trees and shadows, and cast behind the mountains. The Emerald Green of the bay and actual gold flecks from the sand shimmered seeming to wave good-bye to their bright companion. She bid it farewell as she entered the cabin. She then started unpacking her belongings looking at the sleeping arrangements. She had not had to share a room with someone for quite a while and it disturbed her mildly. She recalled the last time she shared a room, Alan she believed. Pausing in thought as she tried to associate a face with the name, besides the ones she saw in the files. She tried to associate an emotion, was there such thing as emotion to her then? She folded her belongings perfectly into the drawers provided. Taking her hair from the pony-tail staring at her blank reflection in the mirror. Agreeing with Rikky mildly as he asked to walk after sunset. ** Indeed, after sunset would be grand. The stars up here are phenomenal. **When was the last time she appreciated the star-scape? The bright canopy of twinkling lights. Thinking these things she had not bothered with for months. For so long she had not even tried to remember these most simple things. And all of them, every last one was there, but veiled. Utterly frustrated, as she remembered very clearly in every excruciating detail everything since her stay at GUARD. Now becoming more convinced they did something, but how? Although the answer was staring her in the face literally, offering her his arm, she would have never suspected. She smiled again warmly up towards him, as she again thought of where to begin. Snaking her arm around his finally too appreciating his physique. Again she repeated herself. ** You look incredibly well. I assume GUARD has been training you very well. You are progressing much quicker than I anticipated. Much quicker than I ever could have. ** She walked out of the cabin finally having an insight to how to approach the whole ordeal. Saying lightly with her mind touching his if she could. ** ~~ There are certain things I would like to discuss with you, and only you. ~~ **Her eyes traveled up his form making eye contact. Indeed the darkness made him incredibly enchanting. Leaning on his shoulder as they continued to walk, and she continued to explain the best way she knew how. ** ~~ There are certain things that are very private to me Rikky. As a telepath you can understand that. Your mind, your thoughts are sacred, and special. You --know-- no one can invade those thoughts, and you know what absolute privacy is. I just wanted you to know, when I explain these things to you they are -those- private thoughts. The ones that you dare not even mutter in your mind as to keep them to yourself, and only to yourself. ~~ ** Hoping that he understood the gravity of everything she wanted to explain to him. How important it was to her. She added a quiet. ** ~~ I would prefer to keep the conversation here, as due to the sensitive nature. Rikky, in other words, I trust you fully, with my deepest thoughts. With, with my entire mind. ~~

*Rikky hadn't had time to bring much with him, and what he brought was quickly put away and neatly so. With Jesse on his arm, they leave the cabin, and he smiles softly, beautifully, at the coming night. Indeed, here in his element, his own brand of loveliness increases ten-fold. The night seems almost to come alive around him, soft whispers in the gentle winds that stir his hair like a pet wishing to be caressed. He allows this, loving it truly, adoring the darkness which adores him. Jesse under his shields, and he can feel her need for absolute isolation. He gives this willingly, shifting his own patterns, wrapping her in utter solace. There are surveillance cameras and whatnot around the area, to be sure, but between them there is nothing to record other than physical movements. Rikky understands the need for such watchfullness -the GUARD has learned the hard way, as all growing things must- but it irritates him slightly that no move is left unchecked. Stifling, if one thought about it for too long. However, he's also quite aware that with the sheer volume of material the GUARD must go through, most of it is never looked at unless a problem arises and records must be checked. That thought is a slight liberation. And the young man smiles at his companions high praise, answering her with soft mental speech*MS*() Thank you, Jesse. Yvette has been working me hard, if for no other reason than just to feel some kind of power over me. Unfortunately, due to a command from Scratch, I must answer it. *tiny peturbation here* Even though the phyiscal changes are, admittedly, entirely psychosematic. My body does not increase in physical strength through strength training. I do not work that way. So I have seen to it she gets some small satisfaction by being able to see a slight change in my person... structure and whatnot. I would prefer not to have to deal with it at all. I have enjoyed the martial arts and hand-to-hand combat trainings, however, for some odd reason... but something within me also rebels against it as if it were... not my style. I do not know how to relay it exactly, but I have found grace in the motions, nonetheless.() The moon begins to rise, shining bright and casting her pale blush on the lake's surface. Rikky sees it and gasps slightly, pausing in their walk, tilting back his head and extending his free arm, as if to welcome and embrace the shy, half-turned face above them. His eyes, which had shut, reopen, and in them is a simple joy, their dark depths brimming with sensuality as if the dead dusty rock above them could make love to the telepath below. Or maybe it has. It's the first true jolt of his heritage that he's felt, out here in the woods, among nature and night. A climax of the heart. He feels the intense desire to -dance- as he had danced before Venin (and caught Venin up in it, too) in the Wreckroom. However, he does not, for the seriousness of what Jesse is trying to relay strikes him, and he turns back to her, his eyes still full and soft*MS*()...Pardon. I have been experiencing some... awakenings... of late.() *lovely smile and he switches his attention back to her completely*MS*()Yes, of course I understand. This conversation is between you and me only, and I shall do my utmost to assist you as I can. Just as I can sense now, with you under my shields, that what you told the GUARD regarding your condition was, at best, a half-truth. () *Indeed, he can sense the importance and gravity of her concerns, is intent and concerned himself about them. Strolling arm in arm, he waits to have her reveal exactly what is on her mind...*

** Leaning towards him, her hands lightly clasping his arm as they walked. The chill that would accompany the air, that would shiver itself though the night, seemed dulled by his side. Watching the inks and the blacks drape themselves over the wilderness. Watching the pools of shadow that hid from the harsh day creep from beneath their trees and stones and dance in the moonlight and breezes. She watched him reach for the moon, saying quietly aloud, as to accompany the moon's captivating glow. ** She is quite beautiful tonight. As ridiculous as it sounds, it seems as if she is greeting you. ** The outreached hand silhouetted against the night's mistress perplexed Jesse for a long moment. Adoring the stars as much as him, or so she assumed, she never reached for one. How . . . child like, how -her thoughts stopped in a single moment.- For the first time in a long time her mind was without words. He turned to her his eyes soft, his actions alluring. Her violet gaze settled on him, as she pulled tighter, catching herself smiling in the wake of his intense desires. Although she could not feel, nor would she be able to comprehend them, she felt utterly content. She watched him smile, him reflect everything around them. Her mind was ripped from the moment as it resumed thinking again. Fortunate to have such a close friend as this. Someone she merely wished to adore for all eternity. ** ~~ You are absolutely correct Rikky. I have failed to speak any truth the GUARD operatives about T.E., and there is due reason. Taking leave at such short notice would not ensure my privacy, as would taking a leave at all. You know of my past circumstances with . . . GUARD and leave. I would be monitored too closely for what I need to do, what I need your help on my most precious of friends. This was the best way to guarantee absolute mental silence from prying minds, like yours, that would be probing for what I need to do. I have concluded that by convincing others that I had T.E. I would get the shielding, or privacy I needed. That and I also assumed I would get the pleasure of your company. I apologize if I did worry you my friend. ~~ ** Again unsure how to address the problem as they walked, finding a few trails through the forest that broke off from the main trails. Opting to take one of these, most likely -less- monitored by the stationary cameras, and the satellites would have a harder time picking up their signatures through the thick foliage. She noted a few inferred sensors and a few more cameras though they were more sparse than the main trail. Turning as the darkness flooded the area, seeming to rush them. It was almost alive, with it's own thoughts and purposes. This was preposterous though. She accounted this phenomena to the artificial lighting and holo-chambers that she was constantly exposed to. The darkness seemed to ripple and flow as she disregarded it. Leaning against Rikky as she continued to speak. Her tone was paced, and seemed easy. ** ~~ I am glad I can confide in you. Rikky ever since I have returned to my home, GUARD, I have been able to remember every instance. Every glance given to me, every name, every sensation, as you can relate I am sure. I try to remember every detail no matter how insignificant. It is more tiresome than it sounds, I know I have always done this. Every detail of my life from when I was young has been stored in my mind. It is recorded that my parents left me at GUARD, which I never have been able to remember. But since my arrival, every memory has been observed, analyzed, and placed like a file in my mind. This stems also from the fact I believe that every human already remembers every-thing that happens to them, they can not access it. Before I indulge you with that tiresome and long theory I will get to the issue at hand. ~~ ** Pausing there as they approached a small clearing. Looking around slowly, noting a few more surveillance mechanisms around them. Not to mention their clothes were most likely bugged as well. The observers wouldn't have much to see, except a pair of old friends walking through the woods. Besides which, Jesse was more than sure after a few minutes of observing them, the teams would find more interesting things to observe. ** ~~ I have trouble recalling ANYTHING before my recent arrival at GUARD. It is the most peculiar thing Rikky I must tell you. I, for instance, can recall that yes indeed I was with the Rogues in a farm-house, that indeed I stayed with Venin, Abyss, Zakai, Geoff and at times others. But I can not recall anything from this time. I remember that indeed I did build a super computer there, but I do not recall how, or exactly why. I recall having some sort of relationship with Abyss, but I can not recall his face, or anything intimate. I remember Aerik, but only how betrayed I felt. Never why I felt this way. All that is in the place of these memories is a fog. A fog that seems to acknowledge these things indeed happened. It's a mist so fine that shrouds all my memories. Only recently it has become to the point where it has disturbed me. I believe this fog is preventing me from accessing my mind, my full potential. Furthermore I believe GUARD put it there as so I would not relapse and go Rogue again. That, somehow I might -mental chuckle- relapse is absurd. It disturbs me that they might think such. Rikky, why I requested your help, was not to assist me in T.E. but to assist me in removing the fog. Something I guarantee you will be much more challenging. ~~ ** Turning her eyes back to the path below their feet waiting for a response. Not an ounce of her body was worried that he would turn her in. No she trusted Rikky. She wanted to trust him more than anyone. She knew that he would help her. Although she told Rikky to never let his shielding down, and in a way never to trust a telepath with your mind, here she was exposing herself to him like an open book. The rapidly cooling air caught her breath causing it to mist for a brief second. A breath she held it seemed waiting for some sort of response. ** \f5 *Rikky listens intently, ignoring the stars and the gorgeous night and the moon, all to their disappointment, no doubt, although he allows the soft breeze to play with his hair. If he connects her fog with the incident of almost a year ago, he makes no sign of it. Indeed, Eshva forget quickly, and wicked acts are not wicked acts, but merely the way of things --after all, he's a demon. And the problem with this is that Rikky is becoming more and more Eshva by the day, unlike his twin older brother. Sensual, elemental, maliciously playful... all this and more is the young clone coming into. His roots. His heritage. Indeed, it's entirely possible that the magic and set nature of his form might allow him to slip right by the GUARD-made compulsions his creators set into place. Already, he's forgotten to hate Aerik, or /why/ he did. Where once upon a time he wished to kill his brother, now he doesn't care. Aerik, he's beginning to understand, has wicked tendencies. Aerik owns an Eshva body. The two go hand in hand. Yes, things are beginning to change for young Rikky who may not be recognizable as a GUARD operative in a year or two. And that Jesse is fully exposed to Rikky, well... for some strange reason, this strikes him as only natural. A human who's brain is open to a demon. Common enough. But this is an impression, and Rikky doesn't cling to it or even really think it; to him, it's simply /understood/* MS*() Is it truly important to you? I understand that it is disconcerting, certainly I do, but your life as a RUNner, your attachments to these people, what you did for them... does it really mean anything to you anymore? The important parts of what you lost -the data- is rediscoverable in the files. The fog you claim to view in place of memories indicates that indeed something was lost... but perhaps that is what is called 'a blessing in disguise'. I also understand that you believe you may be able to use such memories to your advantage, maybe in bringing the Rogues back, but at the same time I believe that would be unnecessary and even a hinderance. Especially when you can just glean from them what response they expect and act accordingly, without the ties and bonds of past emotions interfering. I, myself, would counter your claim that this mist is impeding your full potential; I see absolutely no reason why it /should/. Now, that you are disturbed, this I grasp, but I must ask you, Jesse, if you have truly thought this through and realized the potential hazards in regaining old emotions and intimacies. I think it would be enough to simply know they /were/, and move on.() *A pause, and a gentle, beautiful smile at Jesse. Rikky clasps her hand in his and matches eyes with her... those black which watch and watch but do not blink. That startling, electric touch, the promise of unmediated pleasure in his fingertips*MS*() However, if you feel it is wise and necessary, I shall look into it for you.()\f6\fs20 ** Pausing in a clearing as he spoke releasing any part of him she was clinging to. Noticeably upset as well. She listened to every last word he had to say without interruption. Although she valued and savored every last word from her companion, she highly disagreed with him. Taking one point at a time answering and responding to them in kind. ** ~~ Yes, it is truly important to me. They were important to me, I want to know why, how. I want to know everything I learned and experienced. I want to know why I acted the way I did, I want to know why I was so blind, so na\'efve, not to merely know that at one time I was. ~~ ** Her uneasiness grew. It dawned on her, something she did not want to face. The true reason that the mist was there. He thought she was going to defect again. Blinking lowering her gaze, her hand falling to her side, seeming almost defeated. Instead she was in deep thought. They all thought she was going to defect again, and this made her want, was to know //why//. What had she done since the moment she was reinstated at GUARD? She worked every moment she was able, followed every single order, never gave any reason for any suspicion aside from /now/. The fog, aside from personal curiosity, she honestly felt if it cleared she could function at a higher level. The files Rikky spoke of did not give reasons on why she left the first time, why she chose to stay in the company of Venin, or Abyss, how she had met Aerik, how her telepathy had surpassed everything they expected of her. If she could even know how it suprassed, she could make their telepathic team so much stronger using the same methods. She knew things had happened, and in her mind knew that they were real. But there was nothing aside from instances, places, names, and an occasional face. She would not use the memories to bring rogues back, but instead reflect inwardly, which she knew, but could not tell you where or when, had at one time became a favorite pastimes. These thoughts blazed through her mind it seemed in less than a second, all summed up in a single feeling. /Betrayal/. Hers and theirs. It was obvious GUARD had placed the fog there, and perhaps why, when her actions from when she returned never merited such action. She had never //killed// a GUARD operative, she 'betrayed them' when she went Rogue, but the only reason she went Rogue was. . . . was. . . her mental voice seemed a bit sharp as she spoke still glancing at the ground.** ~~ I do not want to //GLEAN// their responses. I would not let emotions, ties, interfere. Rikky, I am the /master/ at letting emotions /die/\'85 or so I am told. I can not tell you for certain, for I /can not/ recall specific instances. ~~ ** Still looking at the ground. Rikky was entitled to his opinion, and she did indeed value it. She valued everything about the man, he was being honest. Not angry with him at all, no, she still had to adore him. She had learned that just because someone does not tell you the words you want to hear, is no reason to be angry with them. More disappointed than anything, she turned looking at his brilliant mane, reaching for it with her free hand, letting him know very clearly that the frustrations she was feeling were in no way a result of him. No instead the circumstances. Feeling guilty too that she dragged him away, all the way out here for something that would more than likely never be resolved. At least she had tried. Moving her hand through his hair gently, still adoring the way it felt. Fingertips pressing lightly against a few strands of silk, pressed further into the cool night. Allowing him to take her hand into his, her eyes still locked on his hair until he touched her. His cool skin, his presence calming her a bit and the touch making her heart race at the same moment. Gaze jumping to his eyes captured there. Forcing herself to continue. Pulling her hand away lightly to actually do so. ** ~~ I have thought of the potential hazards in regaining old memories. I have thought of them all . . . You are correct. I will not try not to worry about this again. ~~ ** As true as she wanted that to be, she would try, she knew she would still continue to worry about it. Jesse's mind also rationalizing that she would most likely be reprimanded for such a stunt, taking false medical leave, and the subject at hand would not be smiled upon either. She would be punished, her rank lowered, and never trusted again. She would be forced to move back to the United States, PsiWarp would most likely get her post in Australia, reduced to something short of an inventor, if that, for she would not be able to work on the higher classed machines. Another thought, they would have Rikky wipe her mind of the whole instance. She stared at those unblinking eyes. Why not? They had done it before. The other two options were to hope Rikky would not say a word, or to leave GUARD. The latter of the two was not an option, she was surprised she had even thought of it. She had to stay. Everything that she was, at that very moment was a result of GUARD. They earned her undying loyalty this time. She could recall she at one time was an emotionless drone, though not why, they had changed that. She could recall that she was uneasy in leadership positions, they changed that. They also had one thing the RUNners would never have. She gazed upon that one thing again, standing before her, smiling so perfectly. They had her best friend, her companion. **

*Rikky tips his head to watch his friend, allows the touches to his hair, but he's hearing something, reading something, he's never really noticed before. Her mental voice is sharp, she's frustrated and angered at the thought the GUARD might think she would defect again, even though she doesn't recall /why/ she ever defected. Despite this, he ignores her mental voice, and his eyes rove her face for... what? Because he can /see/ it. Not that he couldn't feel it or know it under his shields, her mind was open, but he can /see/ it now, too. More certain, even, than mental speech... she is speaking to him, but on some other level, one she may not be able to perceive. Written for him there, as if chiseled on air, everything is viewable. All her frustrations, all her thought, /betrayal/, fear, guilt, desire, want, need, forgetfullness.... /love/. Adoration. And because she offers all this in this manner, Rikky responds in kind, instinctively... it is not mental speech he offers, but something else, something utterly silent, but /felt/, and it transmutes gently from him, through the space between them, and resonates against her flesh, in her blood, the unlanguage of Rikky's native tongue... no language. Just silence, certain as anything else, a gentle lapping across her form. It is much like mental speach, but on a different level, a more primal level but every bit as refined, as elegant, and maybe even more so. No shields could keep this out, though eyes downcast might miss it completely. In this strange tongue of silence, Rikky answers, emotion pulsing like a heartbeat. //So much you keep inside, even now, with me. So much you wish to say, make me understand, yet know not how to do so. You hold yourself at bay even as you adore me. No word of this shall pass my lips, Jesse, you know that. You offer me secrets and secrets I shall keep. I know not what your fog is, though I offered to assist you in discovering if you wished it so. However, I can tell you this much... the fog belongs to none but you.// A smile then, a shift in body weight, and the tall man leans forward, presses his lips to Jesse's forhead in a tender expression which says /I adore you, too, my dear friend/. And for a moment, lips to flesh, a strange sensation, completely not from any mental abilities --peace. A wash of calm. A warm spread of sensation which strives to push away every negative feeling, every pain and hurt. Floating like petals on a lake, rippling outward. Just... /calm/. It is not to make her forget or make her compliant or make everything 'all better', it's simply a moment's healing, perhaps, to help her clear her mind. It will linger a few minutes, but it will eventually pass leaving her completely her own once more*

** Jesse had never used a sharp mental tone with Rikky as long as he had known her. Perhaps this is why he never really noticed. As hard as she struggled at that very moment to retain every emotional flare, every small feeling from him, some still leaked out between them. And why not? Her shields were low, her mind was open to him as it had been so many times. As when they first met he could stroll through her thoughts, like files thumb through them. See everything she had seen, feel everything she had felt. She indeed remembered /everything/ recalling it at will. But as complete as this record of events was, there again were things that were not blatantly filed. (See notes) Her feelings too were sprinkled with confusion. She knew she had once experienced love, and desire, but again nothing clear came to mind. These feelings did not individually leak out of her mind, instead small tendrils of combined emotion leaked from her. Still unaware her companion picked up any of them, until she rested her eyes on his. Knowing in that moment he could still feel small emotions that trespassed against her. Startled that he could be that receptive, or that sloppy, she stared at him. Before she could start repairing'the holes'she fathomed she must have had, she saw and felt it. Pulsing through her, through her. Like gentle lapping waves on a lake-shore, pulsing through her mind. Even the areas she never thought Rikky /would/ go were touched by the most gentle of messages. A small ripple, concentric circles of the message forming in words without a language. Taking shape and falling away again. Shuddering at the sheer beauty of it not believing that it did not even pause at her smaller shields. As she hears'the words, nearly brought to tears by the graceful way it swept out of her mind, she felt his lips press so lightly on her forehead. The expression was lost to the moment, but she knew by his actions that he indeed adored her. Leaning inward draping her arms around his waist feeling the strange sensation of serenity fall over her. Her mind was alerted almost at once at the new feeling that, was unexpected, but this was pressed away as well. She felt tranquil, reflecting in that for the longest moments. Not speaking, not moving. Grasping on to the calm as it started to recess from her mind. Glancing upwards towards Rikky, pushing aside the fog, the worries, not daring to ask aloud. **~~ How. . .how did you do that? ~~

*As Jesse leans in, arms about Rikky's waist, he doesn't fight the action, but softly moves into it, as if on cue; he pulls her closer, his arms about her shoulders in a light drape that was an embrace of long limbs. If she wished, she could lay her head against his chest. Already, he's absently stroking her hair, his large eyes half-masted, dark and filled with an easy, simple pleasure, as if this was all he'd been waiting for, or all he'd wanted. Or maybe it was more like a loving parents to a small child. Hard to tell, really. To Rikky, it's a small, perfect moment... calmness and love in the air, swirls of emotion, which are his tongue and his birthright, a beloved friend in his arms. What more could one ask for? At this tiny little moment in time, this is perfection. His eyes close fully as he rests his cheek on the crown of her head, until she moves it, glancing up and not daring to speak aloud, though she does so mentally, and it's just as loud and intrusive. But nevertheless, Rikky smiles down on the girl, all serenity and emotion*MS*() Do... what? () *a pause then, and Rikky doesn't change his expression. MS*()Are you content then? I wish to help you, Jesse... tell me how I can.